Back on the Band Wagon (Again)

Long time no talk!

My last post was in April, yikes!  I'm sure as many of you guessed by the long delay, I fell off the bandwagon.  I was doing really good through about June and then I just quit.  I let a couple of cheat meals turn into cheat weeks and then into cheat months.  It has been bad.  And surprise, surprise, my weight is back up.  

What a constant battle this is.  

I have got to find a way to get tougher mentally.  It is all a mind game.  I am constantly beating myself up for cheating, but then I just cheat some more.  I get in the mindset of "well, I've already eaten horribly this week, what is the point of starting good now?  I'll start again on Monday..."  Then Monday comes along and I see that I have a few dinners out planned or work lunches and I say to myself "This isn't a good week to start, there is too much going on, I'll wait till next week."  And the next thing you know, it is October and all my weight has come back on.  Sound familiar to anyone?

So what am I doing now?  Well, I am starting again!  My lovely sister (A nutrition major) calculated my daily recommended proteins, carbs, fats, and calories.  So I am trying to stick to what she calculated for me.  I am not trying to be all clean like before.  It honestly became too tough for me to follow after a while.  I was being a bit too strict and then got easily bored and when I cheated, they were real bad cheats.  Maybe if I can get all the eating under control first, then I can start perfecting it and end up "clean" in the end.  But I don't want to make changes that are too extreme at first because that tends to end in failure for me.

I am also going to try running.  We have a treadmill in the garage and we have a great neighborhood for running.  For some reason, running really intimidates me.  But I really think it could be something that would help with the weight loss.  I have read plenty of success stories of others that lost a ton of weight doing it!  I also think it is a good exercise because I don't really need specific equipment, I don't need to go to a class, and I could do it anywhere, even when I am traveling.

I reached out and asked for some advice on facebook from other runners.  A recurring theme was them telling me to just sign up for a race and then train.  I feel so intimidated to sign up for something when I know right now I couldn't finish a 5k.  But I do believe that could be the push I need to get going.  

My plan is to sign up for a 5k that is the first weekend of December.  That gives me about 5 weeks to be able to run 3 miles.  I think it will be tough, but possible.  After that, I think I might try the Krispy Kreme Challenge in February (skipping eating the donuts).  That challenge is 5 miles, so it will keep me moving towards the next goal.  I am strongly considering signing up for the Raleigh Rock-N-Roll Half in April.  The thought of running 13.1 miles terrifies me.  But how horrible is it to never sign up just because I am scared? There is no time like the present right?  And it will give me something to always be working towards.  

So here goes nothing!

Mini-Goals

Today is a happy day for me!  I have reached my current mini-goal of getting into the 160's!  I have found that setting mini-goals is extremely less daunting than looking at the full amount of weight that I want to lose.  I have two different types of mini goals.  One kind is scale driven, and the other is what I call a "non-scale victory."  I actually reached one last night and one this morning.  In case you are dying of curiosity, I will share my goals with you :)

Scale Driven Goals:

Original Weight (in November when I started focusing):  191
212 is the weight I reached when I had Anderson.  So I had already lost 21 lbs when I started being more "focused" in November.  So I am counting 191 as my starting weight.

191.0 lbs (Went from being considered severely obese to "just" obese on the BMI chart) - November 2012
181.4 lbs (5% of my body weight lost) - January 2013
171.9 lbs (10% of my body weight lost) - April 2013
169.9 lbs (Get into the 160's!  Woo hoo) - April 2013
166.0 lbs (25 lbs lost!) - Next on the list!
163.7 lbs (Out of the obese category and into the Over-weight category on the BMI Chart!)
162.5 lbs (15% of my body weight lost)
158 lbs (What I weighed on my wedding day)
152.8 lbs (20% of my body weight lost)
145 lbs (What I weighed when I graduated high school)
141 lbs (40 lbs lost) (or 72 lbs since having Anderson)
136 lbs (Out of the over-weight category and into the normal category on the BMI Chart!) (Not sure if this will ever happen!)

As far as my non-scale victories are concerned, these are mostly based on clothing sizes, fitness goals, etc.

Last night I was able to zip some of my old 10's without a problem!  This was a huge victory to me!  I have been in 12's for a VERY long time and even slid into a couple of 14's right after I had Anderson.  I would LOVE to be a solid 8.  I think I would be happy at that size.  But who knows?  Maybe after that, I will keep chugging along!  I tend to post about my non-scale victories right after they happen.  Often times, I don't even realize I had that "goal" in mind until it happens, such as when I ran 15 minutes without stopping the other day.  And of course I felt great about doing it! 

Latest Challenges

Well I have decided to start a couple of new challenges.  For all of you who know me (which I assume is everyone that reads this blog), you know that I am a goal setter.  I do better when I have defined goals to shoot towards.  For example, I have an excel sheet that lists what I should weigh every week to keep me on track to meet my overall "big picture" weight goal.  I have decided to add two more goals that I can track by numbers. 

I am going to start doing the 100 push-ups challenge.  You can see the challenge here:  http://www.hundredpushups.com/

My arms have always been a problem area for me.  When I gain weight, my arms are usually one of the first places to show it.  Which also means, they are one of the last places to get toned when I am losing weight.  So I am trying to jump start things a bit.  Yes, I am starting the challenge doing "girl push-ups."  But my thought is, if I can get to where I am doing 100 consecutive "girl push-ups," then I can definitely start the challenge over doing real push-ups.  So that is my current plan :)  I started Day 1 today.  But not before I took some lovely (or not so lovely) "before" pictures of my arms.  Hopefully when I take the after pictures in 7 weeks or so, we will be able to tell a difference!

I decided while I'm at it, I might as well work on my stomach too!  After having a c-section a year ago, things could definitely use some tightening up.  So along with the 100 push-ups challenge, I will be doing the 200 sit ups challenge.  You can see the challenge here:  http://www.twohundredsitups.com/

And yes, I took a "before" shot of my stomach, but I am not near brave enough to post that on here.  Maybe if the after shot is awesome in 7 weeks, I will post it.  But don't hold your breath :)

Until then, send me good karma for hitting the 160s this week!!  I am trying real hard to get there!

Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater

Well I haven't written a new post in a while...and here is why...I'VE BEEN CHEATING.

I have been too embarrassed to write because I haven't had good results to report :(  After Anderson's bday party a week and a half ago, I just got off the bandwagon.  I allowed myself a couple cheat meals in a row, and BAM down hill I went!

All last week I ate whatever I wanted.  I will say it was better than I used to be, but it was still bad.  By last Friday, I told myself "I'll start fresh again on Monday."  So of course Saturday and Sunday I stuffed my face.  Ugh, what is my deal.  I'm not going to lie, this is how I was feeling...



Anyways, this Monday I got back on it.  And I looked on the scale and had gained 4 lbs in one week.  OMG.  Seriously?  It takes a month to lose 4 lbs and 1 week to gain it back! I was so frustrated and disappointed in myself.  But seriously, after one day of dedicated focus the next morning I was 3 lbs lighter.  So that made me feel a little bit better.  I honestly believe drinking tons of water if key.  I hadn't been doing good with my water last week and I could definitely tell.  So now I am 1 lb away from where I was at my lowest 2 weeks ago.  I am 2 lbs away from hitting a new "decade" the 160s!  I WANT TO BE THERE SOOO BAD!  I am making a goal to get there by my weigh in on Wednesday, but that could be a stretch!  We will see!

I totally make mistakes and am still figuring out how to make this "clean" eating work in my life.  I absolutely believe that it is the healthiest way to be, but I am thinking that for myself right now, I can't be a 100% clean eater.  I am aiming to be a 70% clean eater and hopefully over time I will keep raising that percentage.  For the first few weeks of clean eating I did great.  But after a while I felt like I was eating the same exact things over and over and over again and got bored and wanted to cheat.  So, my new goal is to try to do a much better job of branching out, researching clean eating recipes, and totally mixing it up on what I am eating every week. Variety is the spice of life right?

I think this all the time....



But we all know this is a  life long journey.  I can't look at it as a diet.  It is a new lifestyle.  And if I want to have a few "Treat" meals every now and then that is okay.  They aren't "cheat" meals.  I just need to make them a "treat" MEAL and not a treat WEEK!

Anderson's 1st Birthday Party

This weekend we celebrated Anderson's 1st birthday!  I can not believe that a year has gone by!  It has been an amazing year.  Knowing that he is 1 has been very bittersweet!  

We had a blast planning his birthday party.  I decided to go with the Dr. Seuss theme because I took some newborn pictures of him with Dr. Seuss books.  His room also has a quote from "Oh, the Places You'll Go" on the wall.  So it seemed fitting that we should celebrate his 1st year with Seuss decor!  Plus, Seuss is always fun!  You can't go wrong!  

So we started with an adorable invitation seen here:

I decided it would be cute to take pictures of Anderson and put Seuss quotes around them.  Dr. Seuss had some amazing "life" quotes and I wanted to find a way to use them.  Here are the pictures with the quotes added in...

"A person's a person, no matter how small."

"Why fit in when you were born to stand out?"

"Today you are YOU, that is truer than true.  There is no one alive who is YOUer than YOU!"

I put these on top of the piano with some Dr. Seuss books and Dr. Seuss characters that we found at Kohl's.

I made the Happy Birthday banner out of scrap paper from Michaels and letters that I printed on my computer.  I found the Grinched font for free online.  It didn't take long to make the banner at all!

For the front door I wanted to try to make a balloon wreath.  I had seen a few on Pinterest and wanted to give it a try.  I bought balloons in "Seuss colors."  It took about an hour and a half to make the wreath.  And it had over 300 balloons on it!

I wanted to put a little something at the front door.  I had left over balloons so I just did a simple display with the "Oh the places you'll go frame."  I actually received this frame from my Student Council advisor at my high school graduation!  Awesome to be able to use it for my son years down the road!

A few weeks before Anderson's birthday, a good friend of mine came over and took 1 year birthday pictures with him.  So I displayed my favorite picture from that photo shoot.  Anderson in a "Thing 1" hat.  

Another fun Pinterest idea I found was having everyone sign the Dr. Seuss "Happy Birthday to You" book on their 1st birthday.  

Now... on to the best part...THE FOOD!  We had so much fun making the food!  My mom and I baked all of the chocolate cupcakes and my friend Lindsey decorated them all!  She also made Anderson's Thing 1 smash cake.  It was all delicious!

For all of the food, I did some searching online and found some neat food names that were Seuss related.  This part was the most fun!

"Green Eggs and Ham"

First I made deviled eggs and dyed the inside green.  Then I just took deli ham and rolled it up.  Very simple :)  

"Brown Bar Ba Loots Truffula Fruits"

These were just red and green grapes.

"Hop on Pop-Corn"

This is my dad and his wife's Erin famous Caramel Corn.  This stuff is addicting!!!

"Cat in the Hat Fruit Skewers"

We took sliced bananas and strawberries and skewered them on toothpicks.  We tried to do this at the last minute so that the bananas wouldn't brown.  And we sprayed them a few times with lemon juice.

"Yertle's Caramel Turtles"

We made these by just melting rolos on pretzels and topping them with a pecan!

"Three Cheese Trees"

I'm not going to lie, these were a pain to make!  But they turned out cute, so it was totally worth it.  I bought 3 styrofoam trees at Michaels.  We wrapped the trees in plastic wrap.  We then cut the toothpicks in half and just started stabbing cheese all over the trees.  It took a while, but turned out great!

"One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Goldfish!"

Very simple,  just multi-colored goldfish.  And it was awesome, mom happened to have a fish bowl on hand!

"Oodles of Noodles"

Mom made this delicious pasta salad. It is bowtie pasta, brocolli, peppers, cauliflower, carrots, pepperoni, and italian dressing.  Delish!

"Assorted Greens and Other Things"

Just a veggie tray!

"Stink, Stank, Stunk Pretzels"

I was going to add some kind of spice to these, but I decided to take the lazy route and keep it simple.

"Yot in  Pot"

These were just meatballs and BBQ sauce.  They were definitely a hit.  They were the first thing to disappear!

It all wouldn't be complete without having red and blue utensils, plates, and napkins to keep with the theme!

Total spread.  It was quite a table full!  But there honestly wasn't that much food left at the end!

One of my favorite things about the party was the cute little kids table. We had 3 kids that were 1 year old so it was awesome to be able to use the small table.  For party favors for the little ones, I ordered Dr. Seuss toddler plates.

Baby feet!

I had so much fun planning this party!  Parties really are more fun when you pick a theme and run with it!  I really hope Anderson's second year doesn't go by as fast as the first.  But I'm not going to lie, I am excited to plan next year's party!  

I want to give a special shout out to my mom, sister, and my friend Lindsey!  They helped me a lot with party prep the day of!  You guys rock!

Non-Scale Victory!

This week I had a non-scale victory!  

So...what is this non-scale victory you ask?  I ran 16 minutes straight without stopping!  Granted, a turtle probably could have passed me, but hey, I did it without stopping! That is HUGE for me.  Running is definitely a love/hate relationship for me.  I would LOVE to be a runner.  But I HATE running.  It is ALL mental.  Every time I go for a "run jog" I am constantly fighting with myself about when I want to stop.  That little voice inside my head keeps saying, "just make it to that next mailbox and you can stop."  It NEVER comes easy for me.  It is a constant battle.  My husband on the other hand can go out and run 11 miles without thinking twice about it.  He keeps telling me that I just need to get into the groove.  I can't seem to find that groove.  But Tuesday afternoon, I did!  I know 16 minutes isn't long for most people, but it was huge for me!  This is my life...



But hey, I finally proved this one wrong!



Now I can change that one to 17 minutes :)  

Right now my main form of exercise is going to spin classes.  I have been going every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning to a 5:45am spin class. I have also been going to a few on the weekends.  I LOVE it.  It is definitely different muscles than running, but clearly the cardio training has been helping in the running department as well.  I have also been doing the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred on my lunch break every day most days.

I'm still trying to find a good way to work weights into my workouts.  I think I need to do some kind of weights routines in the evenings, but I'm not sure what they will be.  However, I am excellent at pinning them on pinterest :)  haha!  Anyone have a favorite weights routine that they would like to share with me?  I would love to hear from you!

For me, it is very easy to get "stuck on the numbers."  The scale holds a lot of control over me.  I am trying hard not to let it control my mindset.  But it is difficult!  I am very much a "numbers" person and I want to see immediate results on that scale when I am working hard.  But it was exciting to see progress off of the scale this week!  

And the starting weight is (was)....

Okay I am going to do it!  I feel super nervous doing this.  It takes a lot for me to admit what that stupid scale says.  The only people that know are Thomas and my girlfriend Lindsey at work who has been trying to lose weight with me.  SCARINESS.  

First, let's start with some background info.

When I graduated high school and entered college, I weighed 140-145.  And I thought I was HUGE.  What the hell was I thinking?  Anyone else do that?  Look back now on that body you thought was so gross and wish you could have it back?

Anyways, throughout college I bumped around weight wise.  Some semesters I took a few PE classes and weight could go down, others I sat around like a bum eating and studying and got bigger.  I bounced around and got up to 168 at one point.  I think I was around 160 at graduation.  Ugh I was so grossed out by that.  But I never made permanent changes with my eating.  I did WW a couple of times, but I only did it for a couple of months at a time and then would stop.  

Here is a picture from the beginning-ish of college.  Sophomore year I think.  I was probably 145-150ish here.  I remember looking at that picture and being disgusted by the size of my arm.  SERIOUSLY!  I wish I could shake my younger self!  I would LOVE to have that arm back! 

Here is a picture from the end of 2008.  Shortly after I graduated college.  So probably around 160ish here.

After graduating college, I went to grad school and Thomas and I got engaged.  So then I had that pressure of needing to get into that wedding dress!  I still mainly lost weight by doing some working out.  I kept telling myself "this is my life, I should get to eat and enjoy it if I want."  And I figured that working out would give me results because "it was more than I was doing before, right?"  By my wedding day, I got down to 158.  I really wish looking back on it that I had focused on the diet more.  Because you can't "outrun a bad diet."  But I was still happy with the way I looked on my wedding day.  And luckily, I don't look at those pictures feeling depressed or anything (thank goodness.)

SO that takes us up to April 2010.  Once we got married, of course I put weight back on!  Thomas and I actually were pretty active and went to the gym all the time.  I even worked with a personal trainer for a while.  I was getting stronger, but not thinner.  I will wouldn't mess with my diet.  I would be strict about food for a few weeks, get irritated and quit.  I mean let's be honest...I like Outback.

Here was summer of 2010.  I was about 175 here.

Here I am around Christmas time 2010.  I was about 185 here.  We had just graduated from grad school.  And yes...I am very short :)

So now we are at the beginning of 2011.  January 2011 I started my new job.  While in my new job, I decided I wanted to buy lots of professional work clothes.  I mean who doesn't want to look cute at the workplace?  By this point, Thomas and I were also thinking about trying to start having kids sometime that year.  So I wanted to lose weight before I got pregnant and put on even more.  So I believe when I started to lose weight then I started at 184.  I got pretty strict on food.  This time I focused more on food and less on working out.  By the end of June, I was down to 169.  So I lost 15 pounds in about 6 months.  I could have lost much more had I been more focused.

This basically sums up the last few years before that...

Here is April 2011.  I weighed about 172 in this picture.  With my beautiful mother :)  Love her so much!  And yes, we are twins :)

Guess what happened in July 2011?  You guessed it!  We found out we were pregnant!  Here is a picture from right when I started my second trimester.  I was 13 weeks.  And about 175 pounds.

Here is a picture from my due date!  He was 4 days late, so I went 4 days past this.  But the day I went into labor I hit 212!  OMG.  Look at that boy sticking all out there!

I clearly need to do a whole blog on pregnancy and having Anderson.  That is not the purpose of this post.  But I can't help including this pic.  The first time he looked up at me :)  We were both a bit swollen...  He was 8lbs 10oz!

3 weeks after having him.  I weighed 181.  So I dropped 31 pounds in 3 weeks!  If only it always worked that way!  I stayed right in the 180-185 range for a long time.  Here is a picture from June 2012.

Between June and November 2012, I bounced around in the 180s to 190s.  Never stopped and focused on it.  I went to some spin classes.  But still didn't focus on the diet.  I kept using the excuses of "I was busy with Anderson."  And with working from 8-5, I didn't want to miss the time with him in the evenings by going to the gym.  And let's just be honest.  I was too lazy to get up in the morning and do it before work.  So instead I whined about it.  And ate more Outback and Gigi's cupcakes :)  Yum...

Okay...moving on.  By November, I started feeling depressed thinking about how rarely I wanted to take a picture with Anderson.  I always just took pictures of him and Thomas.  Or just Anderson by himself.  I never wanted to be in the picture because I was embarrassed of the way I looked.  That is depressing.  When he is older I want to be able to show him pictures of us together.  It is awful that I wouldn't get in one.  I decided that things needed to change.  So...right at Thanksgiving (I know,  horrible time to start trying to eat better, right?) I started WW again.  I started Nov 20th at 191 lbs and by Dec 15th.  I had lost 10lbs.  So here I was at 181 feeling pretty good about myself.  I mean I had lost 10 pounds in a month right?  Not too shabby!  Then Christmas hit and my days were hit and miss.  But all in all, I maintained.

This brings us to Jan 2013!  Starting at 181.

Through January, February, and beginning of March I tracked all my food on myfitnesspal.  It is great tool!  And I lost some weight got to around 178.  I am not going to lie, I had some cheat weeks.  I wasn't 100% committed.  But I was seeing some progress.

At the beginning of March, I decided to follow my sister's lead.  Amanda is absolutely gorgeous as many of you know :)  She is also a nutrition major and has been doing the whole "clean eating" thing for about a year-ish, I think?  Thomas and I always made fun of her telling her she eats as often as a new born.  Whenever she would come to visit, her and Anderson were on the same feeding schedule, every 3 hours!  Thomas and I would say "that is just too much food prep, we would never keep that up."  But guys, let's be honest.  Look at her!  She is B-E-A-Utiful!  

So...I decided I would give clean eating a try!  I started it Monday 3/11/13 at 177.8 lbs.  Unfortunately, I didn't take a picture that day to share with you.  Today (8 days later) I weigh 173.4 lbs.  So 4 pounds in a week!  I will say, I know I'm not eating 100% clean.  But I am making clean decisions as often as I can.  I would say I'm about 80% there.  I also quit drinking all sodas on 3/11.  It wasn't hard at all.  I was only drinking 1 diet coke a day, so pretty easy to quit.  

Like I said...I NEVER take pictures of myself.  But for the purposes of the blog, I better get used to it.  Here is one I just took.  Sorry, it is a little blurry!  I will have to practice this.  Maybe I will invest in a full length mirror :)

Okay. So I know that was a LONG story.  But that is my background and shows you how up and down I have been!

Measurements as of 3/5/13

Waist:     34''

Hips:       45.25''

Bust:       42''

Thigh:     27.5''

Bicep:    13.25''

Calf:       16.5''

Neck      13.5''

I could talk forever and ever about my goals.  But I think I will leave that for another post.  This one has gotten plenty long enough with all my fat pictures!  

Well, I have laid it all out there.  I am super nervous to click "publish."  But I am just going to have faith that you guys won't judge, and instead will keep motivated now that you can see how far I have come each week!  I CAN NOT WAIT for the day that I can look back on these when I am healthy and fit.  Maybe I can look like Danni on the biggest loser last night!  Anyone see her?!  She was smokin' hot!  So here is to being a hot momma!