And the starting weight is (was)....

Okay I am going to do it!  I feel super nervous doing this.  It takes a lot for me to admit what that stupid scale says.  The only people that know are Thomas and my girlfriend Lindsey at work who has been trying to lose weight with me.  SCARINESS.  

First, let's start with some background info.

When I graduated high school and entered college, I weighed 140-145.  And I thought I was HUGE.  What the hell was I thinking?  Anyone else do that?  Look back now on that body you thought was so gross and wish you could have it back?

Anyways, throughout college I bumped around weight wise.  Some semesters I took a few PE classes and weight could go down, others I sat around like a bum eating and studying and got bigger.  I bounced around and got up to 168 at one point.  I think I was around 160 at graduation.  Ugh I was so grossed out by that.  But I never made permanent changes with my eating.  I did WW a couple of times, but I only did it for a couple of months at a time and then would stop.  

Here is a picture from the beginning-ish of college.  Sophomore year I think.  I was probably 145-150ish here.  I remember looking at that picture and being disgusted by the size of my arm.  SERIOUSLY!  I wish I could shake my younger self!  I would LOVE to have that arm back! 

Here is a picture from the end of 2008.  Shortly after I graduated college.  So probably around 160ish here.

After graduating college, I went to grad school and Thomas and I got engaged.  So then I had that pressure of needing to get into that wedding dress!  I still mainly lost weight by doing some working out.  I kept telling myself "this is my life, I should get to eat and enjoy it if I want."  And I figured that working out would give me results because "it was more than I was doing before, right?"  By my wedding day, I got down to 158.  I really wish looking back on it that I had focused on the diet more.  Because you can't "outrun a bad diet."  But I was still happy with the way I looked on my wedding day.  And luckily, I don't look at those pictures feeling depressed or anything (thank goodness.)

SO that takes us up to April 2010.  Once we got married, of course I put weight back on!  Thomas and I actually were pretty active and went to the gym all the time.  I even worked with a personal trainer for a while.  I was getting stronger, but not thinner.  I will wouldn't mess with my diet.  I would be strict about food for a few weeks, get irritated and quit.  I mean let's be honest...I like Outback.

Here was summer of 2010.  I was about 175 here.

Here I am around Christmas time 2010.  I was about 185 here.  We had just graduated from grad school.  And yes...I am very short :)

So now we are at the beginning of 2011.  January 2011 I started my new job.  While in my new job, I decided I wanted to buy lots of professional work clothes.  I mean who doesn't want to look cute at the workplace?  By this point, Thomas and I were also thinking about trying to start having kids sometime that year.  So I wanted to lose weight before I got pregnant and put on even more.  So I believe when I started to lose weight then I started at 184.  I got pretty strict on food.  This time I focused more on food and less on working out.  By the end of June, I was down to 169.  So I lost 15 pounds in about 6 months.  I could have lost much more had I been more focused.

This basically sums up the last few years before that...

Here is April 2011.  I weighed about 172 in this picture.  With my beautiful mother :)  Love her so much!  And yes, we are twins :)

Guess what happened in July 2011?  You guessed it!  We found out we were pregnant!  Here is a picture from right when I started my second trimester.  I was 13 weeks.  And about 175 pounds.

Here is a picture from my due date!  He was 4 days late, so I went 4 days past this.  But the day I went into labor I hit 212!  OMG.  Look at that boy sticking all out there!

I clearly need to do a whole blog on pregnancy and having Anderson.  That is not the purpose of this post.  But I can't help including this pic.  The first time he looked up at me :)  We were both a bit swollen...  He was 8lbs 10oz!

3 weeks after having him.  I weighed 181.  So I dropped 31 pounds in 3 weeks!  If only it always worked that way!  I stayed right in the 180-185 range for a long time.  Here is a picture from June 2012.

Between June and November 2012, I bounced around in the 180s to 190s.  Never stopped and focused on it.  I went to some spin classes.  But still didn't focus on the diet.  I kept using the excuses of "I was busy with Anderson."  And with working from 8-5, I didn't want to miss the time with him in the evenings by going to the gym.  And let's just be honest.  I was too lazy to get up in the morning and do it before work.  So instead I whined about it.  And ate more Outback and Gigi's cupcakes :)  Yum...

Okay...moving on.  By November, I started feeling depressed thinking about how rarely I wanted to take a picture with Anderson.  I always just took pictures of him and Thomas.  Or just Anderson by himself.  I never wanted to be in the picture because I was embarrassed of the way I looked.  That is depressing.  When he is older I want to be able to show him pictures of us together.  It is awful that I wouldn't get in one.  I decided that things needed to change.  So...right at Thanksgiving (I know,  horrible time to start trying to eat better, right?) I started WW again.  I started Nov 20th at 191 lbs and by Dec 15th.  I had lost 10lbs.  So here I was at 181 feeling pretty good about myself.  I mean I had lost 10 pounds in a month right?  Not too shabby!  Then Christmas hit and my days were hit and miss.  But all in all, I maintained.

This brings us to Jan 2013!  Starting at 181.

Through January, February, and beginning of March I tracked all my food on myfitnesspal.  It is great tool!  And I lost some weight got to around 178.  I am not going to lie, I had some cheat weeks.  I wasn't 100% committed.  But I was seeing some progress.

At the beginning of March, I decided to follow my sister's lead.  Amanda is absolutely gorgeous as many of you know :)  She is also a nutrition major and has been doing the whole "clean eating" thing for about a year-ish, I think?  Thomas and I always made fun of her telling her she eats as often as a new born.  Whenever she would come to visit, her and Anderson were on the same feeding schedule, every 3 hours!  Thomas and I would say "that is just too much food prep, we would never keep that up."  But guys, let's be honest.  Look at her!  She is B-E-A-Utiful!  

So...I decided I would give clean eating a try!  I started it Monday 3/11/13 at 177.8 lbs.  Unfortunately, I didn't take a picture that day to share with you.  Today (8 days later) I weigh 173.4 lbs.  So 4 pounds in a week!  I will say, I know I'm not eating 100% clean.  But I am making clean decisions as often as I can.  I would say I'm about 80% there.  I also quit drinking all sodas on 3/11.  It wasn't hard at all.  I was only drinking 1 diet coke a day, so pretty easy to quit.  

Like I said...I NEVER take pictures of myself.  But for the purposes of the blog, I better get used to it.  Here is one I just took.  Sorry, it is a little blurry!  I will have to practice this.  Maybe I will invest in a full length mirror :)

Okay. So I know that was a LONG story.  But that is my background and shows you how up and down I have been!

Measurements as of 3/5/13

Waist:     34''

Hips:       45.25''

Bust:       42''

Thigh:     27.5''

Bicep:    13.25''

Calf:       16.5''

Neck      13.5''

I could talk forever and ever about my goals.  But I think I will leave that for another post.  This one has gotten plenty long enough with all my fat pictures!  

Well, I have laid it all out there.  I am super nervous to click "publish."  But I am just going to have faith that you guys won't judge, and instead will keep motivated now that you can see how far I have come each week!  I CAN NOT WAIT for the day that I can look back on these when I am healthy and fit.  Maybe I can look like Danni on the biggest loser last night!  Anyone see her?!  She was smokin' hot!  So here is to being a hot momma!